It's been a while since my last post and things are pretty much the same for me and my practice. I did have a really good conversation with my teacher and I thought I might share some of it with you (at least the overall theme). Basically, we discussed my practice. More specifically, my frustration with my practice, my feeling that I'm not progressing and my higher than normal injury rate. I think I've been missing the point.
He reminded my of something that I already knew but must have pushed to the back of my slow to respond brain. Many in this wonderful practice (myself included) tend to feel like it's all about moving on. In fact the practice is set up to create this internal battle. Perhaps that is one of the inherent faults of Ashtanga. If you think about Ashtanga and how it is "traditionally" delivered, you'll agree it's easy to push yourself and fall into bad habits if you're not careful. For example, you "traditionally" can not move on to new posture until the previously posture is accomplished. The idea that the overall practice is made up of a set number of series which can not be attempted until the previous series is mastered lends itself to competition, even if it's just within oneself. ("If I want to move on I have to push myself really hard and drop back. So what if my shoulder is dislocated.") It's really not how far or how fast you go but what's happening to you as you're getting there. Is the practice meditative? What is it teaching you? Those are the questions that can be the most important aspects of the practice.
We also talked about age and diet. Christina has been blogging about her diet lately and her recent blog about the side effects of food speaks directly to my conversation with my teacher. My diet has been pretty well balance for quite a while but I definitely feel the effects when I "fall of the wagon". These are effects I did not feel when practicing consistently nine years ago. Perhaps my recent injuries are a direct result of my diet. Just for the record, my diet is pretty good by most standards. Basically no meat, processed white flour or sugar. Absolutely no high fructose corn syrup. Whole grains and vegetables are the norm. Some fish and seasonal fruit. I rarely eat after 6:30 and typically only drink alcohol on a Friday or special occasion. (Although just about everyday this week has been a "special occasion".)
Now, I'm seriously thinking about a macrobiotic diet. I don't think I will jump in totally at first but I think it's worth a try. My biggest questions is: do I have the discipline to follow this life style? It seems to be challenging enough to tackle this diet cooking at home for oneself but one dinner at a restaurant could blow the lid off the entire experiment. And how about Sunday brunch? Anyway, I guess the point here is I think diet is super important and as I get older I'm realizing the ill effects of not focusing on eating and drinking well are magnified in my practice. (I know what you're thinking: He's not old. He looks great and really young. Thanks.)
It's not the most fun thing and no matter how hard I might try to turn a blind eye, I just might have to crank it up a notch with my diet before I really start feeling well. It's also painfully obvious that I may have to table my competitive spirit before I hit the mat if I truly want to progress in this practice. This competition I've set between me and myself is killing me (and myself).
