Whoever felt it, dealt it

Practice was fun today.  I'm not sure if it was the small coffee prior to class or the deep tissue massage yesterday but I felt pretty good this morning.  It's been a long time since I practiced with the group and  I'm sure that had something to do with it.  It was great to be with my community again.

It was really exciting to me and I felt my heart pumping (sometimes faster than it should have been).  That excitement made me focus more on my breath and I found myself to be very grounded throughout the practice.

I felt like I've been floating through my practice for the last three years.  It has never been as intense as it was 8 years ago.  Sure, I've had times over the last three years where practice has been pretty intense.  And as many of you know, dealing with some in the yoga business is always crazy.  (Some people are much crazier than others.)  But even with all that, I haven't felt as connected to the practice and my progression as I did 8 years ago.  Not even close.  I think I always told myself that it's a life practice and it will ebb and flow.  Someday, it will come back.  Maybe someday it won't and that's ok too.  I've learn to accept I may not ever be able to get it back.

Today I felt it.

John Lennon

The more I see the less I know for sure.
John Lennon

Today

I practiced today.  I've spent a great number of days not practicing.  Waiting for the new baby, hurrying home to help my wife, working on any one of the number of things I have to "finish before the baby gets here".   I've been a bit anti-asana lately.  In fact, I've been amazed at the ugliness I've seen in the yoga world over the last few months (at least the small part of that world that seems to knock into me and my ashtanga community).  But today I figured I might as well work a practice into the mix.  I didn't do a complete practice only standing and some seated then closing.  I didn't have any expectations.  It was really very good.  I felt really good.  My breath was good.  It was very meditative.  And perhaps for the first time ever, once it was over it was over.  I didn't think about it again (until this post).

Maybe I'll practice tomorrow.  Maybe not.